Am I engaged? No. Do I have a boyfriend? Negative ghost rider. Are there even any possible prospects? Not currently. Yet, I still have my entrance dance choreographed and if "The Future Mr. Nicole Marie" doesn't comply with this... well then, it looks like he'll have to stick with his own boring name and won't get the privilege of taking mine.
You all just wait until the day that this amazing man, who does cooperate, comes along. When this happens, if you are nice enough to me and find your very own personalized invite in the mail, my routine will completely blow your mind... guaranteed. To give you an idea, this is something like what I envision my bridesmaids changing into, to prepare for the reception.
I wish I was kidding.
Since, some of you may find me completely ridiculous for antics like these, which, yes... I do snatch from deep left field, I've decided to formulate a Pro's and Con's list for the entrance dance "Situation" (Just call me, Mike).
- On the big day, I won't miss out on my daily aerobics and calisthenics.
- With the racy dance moves I've developed, Dancing with the Stars might pitch me an offer for next season, once they receive word of my raw talent.
- All of my ex-loves from the past will obviously hear word of the performance and become green with envy, pouting because they could not take part in the event of the decade.
- Hopefully, it will shock and excite my audience enough, that those attending from the elderly generation will decide not to test out their narcolepsy condition in the macaroni salad bowl. (Do you like how I renamed my wedding guests, my "audience"?)
- I won't have to budget in wedding souvenirs for guests, I'll just sign autographs.
- A move I've decided would be appropriate during the 3rd verse, could tear my ACL.
- Speaking of appropriateness, this dance probably doesn't qualify.
- I'd have to find a grand piano, 14 Fedora hats, and possibly some machine guns for props... which could pose a bit of a problem.
- All of my ex-loves from the past would hear word of how I ripped my wedding dress from the train to the waist as I sauntered down the stairway, and imagine all the cellulite exposed to the general public, which would then cause them a horrible gag reflex for the rest of their lives.
- No one would ask for my autograph, which would be very depressing, considering that I've been planning this dance and preparing for the fame it will bring me for close to 14 years.