The weirdest thing happened to me this morning.
I woke up, yawned, and Julie Andrews’ voice came out instead of my own.
What if stuff like that really happened? I think it would bring about something close to world peace, but that’s just my opinion.
Today, I’m going to enlighten you all on a topic that I like to call “Work-Boyfriends”.
“What on earth are work-boyfriends?” you ask? Well, let me explain…
You know that guy at your work that you find simply irresistible? It’s the guy that makes you blush whenever he flashes you his pearly whites. The one who you secretly fantasize about riding horses bare back on the beach with. He’s the guy who you tell to have a nice night at 9:47 a.m. in the morning, and then don’t realize what a babbling moron you must’ve sounded like until mid-afternoon, then vowing never to show your face in his presence again. His voice always reverberates through your inner ear, as if he were singing you Lionel Ritchie when he says… “Helloooo.” (“Is it me you’re looking for?”)
“Why yes,” I would reply in harmony with him, “it most certainly is.”
Alright, so that last part is probably just be me. Anyways…
That’s your work-boyfriend!
Work-boyfriends are the best kind to have, really. They trump real boyfriends 90% of the time. The reason for this is mainly that he has no idea he is your boyfriend, or even an acquaintance for that matter. So, you can basically make up stories in your mind about the life you would lead together… and whenever he makes an act of kindness towards you, (one that any other warm-blooded mammal would do under nearly any circumstance), you can brag to your work-friends about how sweet and thoughtful your work-boyfriend is.
Another perk that I’ve discovered which makes this man better than any real-life beau is this… In “Fairytale Work-Romance World” you are always permitted an endless amount of work-boyfriends. No man need go uncharted in your work-love life. And I bet you’re thinking, “Man, no one has ever made polygamy sound so right.”
So, here’s to work-boyfriends! Thank you for remaining naïve to the minds of questionably senile women like me, and thank you also for always looking mighty fine as you pass me in the hallway.
Now, I’ll bet you men wish you knew who you were? Well, I will never reveal my secrets, only because it would bring me more embarrassment than the time I peed my pants in left field during T-ball, and the fact that it’s your mystery that lures me in.
However, I will tell you this... I bet your little woman at home wouldn’t like that you have a work-girlfriend on the side. Shame on you, you dirty dog.