The Ultimate Wipe Out

As a kid, I vividly remember that about once I week, I would prance around the edge of the playground during recess, making up songs in my head and singing them outloud while the other kids broke their arms on the monkey bars. Yes... I was that kid. My parents say I was "creative". You may feel free to call me weird, I'm used to it.

Too cool, even back then.

The reason why I'm telling you this, is to give you somewhat of an explanation for that video I made in a previous post... I'm glad you all found it so entertaining. I see that the majority of you haven't changed since 2nd grade. It's ok, I thrive off being ridiculed.

...


For some reason, I was thinking about my childhood today and the memory of my first pogo stick experience came to mind. Let me tell you, it's a very painful memory. I actually think my tailbone is still jacked up from the fall. It was the first time I had the wind knocked out of myself. I don't really know why it happened... but I tend to be the kind of person who sees something cool that someone else is doing, and automatically assume that I can do it better. I'm sure that had something to do with it. Anyways... my friend had a pogo stick sitting in her garage and one day I looked at it and thought I'd give it a whirl.

Boing.
Boing.
Boing.
Hello concrete floor.

The next thing I knew, I had tears in my eyes that wouldn't go anywhere because I was too focused on getting more oxygen to my brain so that I wouldn't pass completely out. My tailbone felt like someone had literally ripped my tail (if I had a tail) off. The funniest thing about this memory is that the feeling of embarrassment surpassed the physical pain I was feeling at the time. I think it took me a good two weeks to get over the fact that I choked trying to impress the neighborhood kids with what I thought was cat-like agility. And gosh it hurt. It hurt so freaking bad. Now-a-days, if I trip over a shoelace and people are around, I immediately reach my hand out for their help. I don't give a crap if they are homeless bums begging for my change. Granted, now I'm about 80 lbs heavier, so the process of "getting up" is not quite as simplistic as it used to be.

Darn it. I just got so depressed. I was a kid back then! I should have been able to get on a pogo stick without breaking my face! I'm 22 years old. There is no way in hell that I could do that now. I'm done writing. I'm going to go look for a pogo stick in the garage. I must redeem myself.