Wednesday, November 3, 2010

How To Shu The Flu Bug Away

Before the last two days, I avoided the upcoming flu-season like... well... the plague?
I've never had the flu before, I normally just get a runny nose and sometimes an irritating cough, both of which aren't anything that I can't handle. Occasionally, I'll catch strep throat, but that's nothing that a good dose of antibiotics can't take care of.

Well, Monday night, I noticed a slight tickle in my throat, which Tuesday morning had turned into tonsils the size of golf balls, with a hint of bursting eardrums. I went to the doctor at noon and after what I like to call an "I'm really hungry and want to get to lunch" examination, he concluded that I had a simple virus. I HATE going to the doctor when you feel just awful and all they tell you to do is to drink fluids and take Advil. Of course... because if they had not told me that, I would have stopped drinking completely, since sometimes that just slips my mind. And don't they know that I take Advil when I have a bad hangnail? I was frustrated and in misery to say the least...

And since he was no help to me, I was forced to complete my own wellness regimen for flu-season. After 48 hours of torture, I'm actually beginning to feel better. So, in case you happen to encounter a nonchalant doctors visit much like the one I previously explained, please take the following tips into consideration...

1.) Be sure to keep plenty of throat lozenges handy... aka 19 bowls of ice cream.

2.) Pain relief is good... don't try to tough it out or rub some dirt on it. I tried that; it really irritated my throat.

3.) Continue drinking water and fluids like you normally do. I'm not going to treat you like you're a 2 month old infant.

4.) Be sure to have the remote control within arms reach. I'm living proof that while you are on the road to recovery, you could easily catch cabin fever and go plum crazy.

5.) Make sure you also keep a strong, burly man handy... to be at your beckon call for more ice cream, pain relief, water, and to switch to the next season of Friends DVDs. (I'm only using my teddy bear as a prop... my strong burly man is currently busy driving to the store to restock on Popsicles. Duh.)

6.) When all else fails, Grandpa's good ole' cough medicine never hurt... until you wake up with a killer hangover the next morning.

Rinse and repeat.
... and good luck.


I feel worse than ever. I think my butt has permanently adhered itself to my couch cushions. Do not follow any of my previous instructions.

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