Saturday, January 1, 2011


To bring in the new year, I'd like to address the subject of "quirks" because, to be quite frank... we've all got 'em. They are weird. They make us seem crazy. They annoy the crap out of the people around us. And yes, I think they need to be addressed.

Side-note: I find words that have two different meanings completely mind boggling. Address, as in the exact postal location of something or someone. Or address, speaking on a subject matter. 

So quirks... (Side-Side-Note: I love the word "quirks"... it's just a blast to say, really.)

It really chaps me when people get embarrassed and try to hide the crazy things that make them the person that they are. Without all of our small weird habits and "mommy-issues" we'd all be a bunch of boring nobody's, bobbing around like chicken's in a chicken coop.

Side-Side-Side-note: I just got extremely creeped out because I imagined chicken's pecking my eye balls out. I hate birds. They are conspiring to kill me, I'm 93% sure of it. If you see me in person, please do not argue this theory, unless you would like to look stupid.

Anyways, to help all of you who cannot come to terms with putting all your wacky ways out in the public's eye, I'm going to share with you a few of my little offbeat personality characteristics, to spark up some courage in you sheepish cowards. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

  • For some odd reason, and I think it may have something to do with my control issues... I like things to be symmetrical. Not in a normal, "Hey, these mirrors would look nice hanging exactly 12 inches apart from each other approximately 5 feet high." kind of way. Things in my life have to be symmetrical, as in, I will change displays in department stores so that they have the same amount of product on each side of the display and if there is a remaining piece of merchandise, why, I will center it in front of the two rows, of course. It affects my writing even. And heaven forbid there be one word at the bottom of a paragraph that just won't fit in the line above it. Should that happen... well, if you have ever read this blog before, you now know the reasoning for my rambling. Yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah. You don't understand how much more tidy this looks.
  • I must to do my shower routine in a very specific order, that only makes sense to me. I've tried to break this habit and mix things up a bit, but it always backfires, something goes wrong, and it just throws my whole entire day off. And we can't have that now, can we?
  • Sometimes, I sing. Loudly. In public. And by sometimes, I mean all the times. Do I have a good voice? No. Do I feel that I'm entertaining? Yes. Does my mother agree with me on this subject matter? Not quite. My favorite song to randomly perform is "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria" from The Sound of Music. And yes, I can and do change my voice for all the different nuns of the abbey. If you're going to do something, you should do it the correct way.
  • I like to add "Mc" to words when in casual conversation. For example, one could say... "That guy was so buff at the gym today. He was definitely a stud." and that would be perfectly alright. But doesn't calling someone a Stud McGud give you a much better visual?
  • I suck on the shells of peanuts before I open them and eat the actual peanut. Something about the salt on the outside... I don't know what it is. It makes me salivate just thinking about it.
The point that I am trying to make is that you should embrace the things that make you, you. So... you still sleep with a night light. Or you peel the labels off of every container within arms reach. So, what?! As long as you aren't committing a felony I say, no harm, no foul.

Every year around this time, we all get so wrapped up in trying to change ourselves and cover up our flaws that we forget the fact that some of our weird little quirks will always be a part of us. Perfection is dull. And if you want to change something about your life for new years, I suggest you make an attempt to be more comfortable in your skin. And when the people at the grocery store look at you as if you are a crazy lunatic for playing Yankee Doodle on your harmonica in the produce section, you just look right back at them and laugh... like the insane maniac you know you can't wait let loose.


  1. I get wrapped up in trying to change myself at this time of year because my "quirks" mostly amount to stuffing my face with peanut butter blossoms.

  2. I love this!! Message ...Massage...different but know sensually speaking..Quirks..I can never drink the last inch of the milk..I think it's gross!


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